no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
