You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The air was thick with penises
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
