Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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