And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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