You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
