Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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