Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Randomize