You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity