Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.