I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it