Texts From Last Night

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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.

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  (219): I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious. http://tfl.nu/0lgt
  Replies (17) Good night (4027) Bad night (811)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!

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  (203): walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!! http://tfl.nu/de92
  Replies (33) Good night (876) Bad night (5541)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about

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  (620): I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about http://tfl.nu/33to
  Replies (23) Good night (828) Bad night (4527)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...

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  (262): My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here... http://tfl.nu/iwch
  Replies (54) Good night (4511) Bad night (1837)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.

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  (864): and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot. http://tfl.nu/9hr6
  Replies (10) Good night (2357) Bad night (1685)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized

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  (360): I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized http://tfl.nu/nze6
  Replies (16) Good night (2193) Bad night (3362)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.

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  (412): He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead. http://tfl.nu/inh1
  Replies (18) Good night (1263) Bad night (3241)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...

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  (425): He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by... http://tfl.nu/ardl
  Replies (6) Good night (1822) Bad night (609)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning

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  (206): He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning http://tfl.nu/5k1e
  Replies (9) Good night (1723) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know

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  (585): Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know http://tfl.nu/3xrv
  Replies (4) Good night (480) Bad night (2083)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.

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  (417): All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door. http://tfl.nu/d7kd
  Replies (6) Good night (844) Bad night (509)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.

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  (610): You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me. http://tfl.nu/fg9o
  Replies (1) Good night (1206) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!

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  (859): How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair! http://tfl.nu/4980
  Replies (5) Good night (569) Bad night (356)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.

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  (516): She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY. http://tfl.nu/h5mr
  Replies (1) Good night (823) Bad night (306)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand

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  (207): What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand http://tfl.nu/crhx
  Replies (3) Good night (307) Bad night (370)

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