D3 body, D1 cock
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
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Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
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sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.