Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(808): View more from Hawaii

i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.

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(808): i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon. http://tfl.nu/roae

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(713): View more from Texas

my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.

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(713): my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute. http://tfl.nu/ldey

Replies (12) Good night (2626) Bad night (660)
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(971): View more from Oregon

He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.

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(971): He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex. http://tfl.nu/3zjj

Replies (21) Good night (1817) Bad night (6467)
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(847): View more from Illinois

She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.

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(847): She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night. http://tfl.nu/sdtr

Replies (17) Good night (5992) Bad night (1201)
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(757): View more from Virginia

I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.

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(757): I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping. http://tfl.nu/aea5

Replies (30) Good night (3642) Bad night (1353)
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(678): View more from Georgia

I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.

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(678): I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous. http://tfl.nu/5xat

Replies (8) Good night (1391) Bad night (3604)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.

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(978): girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good. http://tfl.nu/jyv0

Replies (4) Good night (1633) Bad night (622)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?

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(828): is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear? http://tfl.nu/pkiy

Replies (1) Good night (804) Bad night (1551)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place

(402): View more from Nebraska

This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded

(402): View more from Nebraska

Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood

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(402): Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place (402): This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded (402): Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood http://tfl.nu/jep5

Replies (8) Good night (1710) Bad night (762)
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(770): View more from Georgia

Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals

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(770): Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals http://tfl.nu/cikb

Replies (17) Good night (1737) Bad night (819)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.

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(+44): Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace. http://tfl.nu/pdfz

Replies (7) Good night (1736) Bad night (551)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love

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(720): Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love http://tfl.nu/8heh

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(404): View more from Georgia

Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.

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(404): Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become. http://tfl.nu/pcoq

Replies (3) Good night (851) Bad night (266)
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(443): View more from Maryland

You pole danced in your parka.

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(443): You pole danced in your parka. http://tfl.nu/lknf

Replies (4) Good night (609) Bad night (254)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.

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(215): I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that. http://tfl.nu/79sp

Replies (5) Good night (842) Bad night (226)

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