Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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