have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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