my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Randomize
