my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
