by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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