dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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