are you so shy because you have an std?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
