Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
