I saw his package. It spoke to me.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
