I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
