You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
