A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
