What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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