I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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