She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
