Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize