I think i sorta joined a cult last night
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
