Little spoons don't ask big questions
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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