And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Randomize
