i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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