its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
