i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
