I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
