So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
