Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
