You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
