I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
