Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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