sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
