Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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