i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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