she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
