then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
