She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
she peed on how many people?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
