I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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