I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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