She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
