I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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