I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
accomplished twins. life is a go
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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