I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
