Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
