Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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