Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
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