my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
