Church boner. Awkwardddd
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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