worst night to have a conscience
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
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I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
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I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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