dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
