I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
