This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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