I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
