i'm lost and i look like a hooker
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
