are you still at the devil's house?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
