How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
